The worst exam of my life
Posted by ardianto86 at 06:58 AM on December 2, 2006.
Today I was not like being myself at all.. it's just the weirdest day ever!! =(( I think i'm gonna get an F for the ee2012 paper. I dunno, maybe a D? C-? It's hard to predict really but I just know that I'm doing very badly, perhaps the worst attempt i've ever made. I only managed to answer abt 30% of the questions! Well.. I was down! shocked! After the exam I could just stare blankly, I really wished that it was a dream or anything but it was not! I wish I could rewind my day.. =( I was totally desperate! I know its useless to complain, nothing can be changed! I knew that! But i'm just totally freaked out now! =( Can u imagine? I spent my time doing a 8-marks question for 1 hour! Then I was left in a hurry. Moreover, I didn't write the formula for the easiest question on my helpsheet. I was panicked! Couldnt even think properly since I only slept for 4 hours! Well why I slept for only 4 hours is because I was preparing for the other killer module, coz I had 2 papers today! The other one was quite ok, arnd 66%. And why didn't I prepare yesterday? Well yesterday I was packed with studying the other paper, and there's so much to study that I've got no time for this module. I thought this would be easy! I thought this would be the same as last year since the past 5 consecutive years the questions are almost the same, but this time is different!
Well.. nobody understands, unless you, who never get even a C before, might have the chance to get yourself an F, only then you can probably feel what i'm feeling rite now. It's like your world have been turned upside down, you would wish for impossible things to happen! And you can't simply whisk it off your mind, telling yourself that it is okay and let's just look forward, looking backward was useless! All the more if you've had high expectations to earn a high CAP. This dream was, if not lost in one day, it was threatened.
Well.. it's too bad for a day.. Lord, what do You want? You're in control of this situation didn't You? You can give me extra stamina to think, or maybe extra wisdom to do the questions. You can if You want. Is this a punishment? But isn't it too harsh? =( Well..perhaps.. this is a punishment for my sins, for me being unfaithful not studying more seriously from the start. I was always doing things in last minute. Last time I promised myself that I would study hard for this semester.. but promises after promises.. commitments after commitments.. I've broken many of those! I confessed I am just an unfaithful son, incapable of keeping his promises. I confessed that I've done many wrongs. I've neglected the responsibility that You've entrusted to me as a student. And all the more, I've been so selfish, coming to you just when I'm in trouble or desperation just like today! I've missed a lot of my quiet times with You. I've been declining.... Lord, is this meant as a lesson? Or is this just to strip off my ego? Lord..here I am, change me as You want...
But one thing, I would thank You that You still care, You wouldn't want me to go astray and hence You still want to beat me up with this bitter lesson. I would thank You for the companions that You've given me, for friends that accompany me during this down period. (Today, after the exams I met many friends unintentionally, there are 7 of them to be exact =s, so weird huh?) Well.. I believe it was Your work, and I am truly grateful..