Right now is exam period. My last paper is two days away. And I just wanna take this period of time for a little bit of reflection.

This May i'm gonna be 21 years old! An age that many people said is the age where male reaches its maturity (for female it was 17 i think) =p. Well, I dunno if it is true but I just assume so. After crossing this line, it would be very different. I think since this time is near, I should reflect backwards.. what have I done in these past 21 years? How's my life been? How's it progressing? Sometimes it's just wonderful to reflect about the past.. about something that no longer exist.. which only exist in the mind. I'm once again amazed by what God has made.. God has made it that 'time' flows linearly forward, and no turning back is permitted. It brings up memories, be it good or bad memories. There are sad and joyful times, and that's what made up our pasts! There are times when we missed opportunities, be regretful about it, but there are also times when we made the right choices. A small choice perhaps, that has altered our life so greatly that it has bent towards the reality that we see right now... it's the 'critical point' where the road of life splits into two.. and there's no turning back.

Pondering about the past could be exciting.. It's as if you replayed the whole film about yourself, the same kind of nostalgic experience obtained when you watch a recorded childhood video of yours. Perhaps you would imagine yourself being transported back to that time and place.. you could still remember vividly the places back then.. or maybe the faces of the people around, or maybe some friends, who perhaps now had been lost as you dont know their whereabouts or you never heard any news about them anymore.. And you would started to doubt yourself, asking the silly question 'Is the past real?' If the past you remembered would have some places that you imagine, but those places are no longer there.. If you could imagine the faces of certain people, but those people perhaps wouldn't remember about you.. The sensation.. is as if you had been transported to a different world.. your world is 'now'. Things would have different settings, you would live in a different place, you would meet different people, you would have different companions.. yes.. and this is what time has created.. time flows forward.. time would change things.. time would keep on tossing us to different worlds.. It creates an adventure... (Oops.. i'm supposed to reflect about my past..seems that this have gotten out of topic, hehe.. -to be continued) =p

Yep.. one third of the drama has been written, and it's unerasable.

Firstly, i would like to thank God, for granting me this gift of life that i've enjoyed for 21 years. Well.. i'm kinda amazed actually. During these 21 years, i've came to know God and witnessed that He is indeed a beautiful God, who designed everything so amazingly. It is not because of my luxurious, happy, problem-free life that I could make this comment. Harking back into the past, I saw that I've gained a lot, but I actually missed a lot too! There are sweet things as well as bitter things! There are times of joy and heartbreak, success and failures. Honestly, my life I wouldnt count as perfect as those dramas which I envy sometimes =p. In real life, there are many things which are beyond my reach, perhaps it is just beyond my reach for eternity. There are many things I could've done better during my childhood days. And I could've experienced more memorable things, or gain more friends during my teenage days. Yeah.. I wish I could carve a more beautiful past back then.. Sometimes I just wonder if I could turn the time back again, but time just can't be rewinded.. Nonetheless, I'm still happy. ^_^

Secondly, I would like to count the blessings that God has given me for these 21 years (actually there are countless! But just jot down a few). I'd like to thank God for my family that God has given me, my mother, father, my two sisters, cousins, etc.  I'd like to thank God for every friend that I have, and the amazing fact that I still keep in touch even with my primary school friends =D. I'd also like to thank God for my family's economy, for my opportunity of education, for every service that He has granted me His trust, thank Him for my health, and many more...

Thirdly, I'd like to make commitments :

1) I want to be more serious in pursuing the truth and live according to that truth, and be a witness

2) I want to be more efficient and be responsible for everything that has been granted as resources

3) I don't want to break every things which are my commitments

Yep.. and the second chapter of my life begins... =) (Goodbye my first chapter!)

My results was released yesterday, and it dropped.. again! It has been dropping for the past 3 semesters. The second semester is worse than the first, the third is worse than the second, and the fourth is (unexpectedly) worse than the third. I dunno why! But I just know I have to try harder next semester! I promise myself to bring back my CAP up! Perhaps I just want to bring my results to increase steadily over the remaining semesters. It will be hard, but possibility is still there.. It never reaches zero, for the future has not happened. I still have the freedom to choose! Yeah, I still believe!! =D. So for next sem, I promise to bring back my CAP! And the commitment for my birthday, I won't break my promise! Jiayou!

Oops, and I wont take 5 modules just to bring back my CAP, grades are still secondary, and gaining more knowledge is more important, so i'm still gonna take 6 modules. So I really have to study hard!!  Hehe I won't give up!!!!!! =)