How hard it is to be a Christian..

Problems came from every directions..

Your enemies mocked at you, insulted you, threatens you..

The world thinks you're stupid.. fanatic.. when in reality they don't really know what exactly they're talking about..

They said we were brainwashed, when in reality they haven't even define things properly..

Not only do problems came from the outside, it came from the inside as well..

The church is supposed to be supporting.. a dwelling place for a Christian..

And yet sometimes you couldn't even count on the churches as a resting place..

The members of the church are the ones that would first point their fingers at your faults..

They're judging and as merciless..

O who then could a Christian count upon?

A Christian couldn't even count on himself..

For sometimes, he too, stumbled..

When his own self too.. judged upon him, pointing at his faults..

The only One who he can count upon is only God..

But sometimes he just couldn't feel His presence.. especially when he doesn't manage to maintain a good relationship with Him..

At that time he feels that everyone is cursing at him.. his enemies.. his friends.. even his own self.. and God too seems to remain silent..

He feels the voidness of his existence.. as if without meaning..

Floating aimlessly in the darkness.. empty..

Is this how a pilgrimage is supposed to be?..

Are Christians supposed to live this way?..

Yeah.. maybe this is just part of the pilgrimage..

But one thing i know, it's the devil who always pleads a Christian's infirmities against God..

Therefore my soul, be assured..

For God whom you serve and honour.. is merciful and ready to forgive..

My faults, i've groaned under them, felt sorry for them and obtained pardon from my God..

Hence, my soul, rejoice!

I don't care about my enemies, my friends, even myself who points my own faults..

When I find myself resting in God.. be forgiven.. turned anew.. I shall be at peace..

Just went for what supposed to be a 'free' fat organ analysis.. Last time t'was said that my health condition was bad after the scanning.. And so I went.. but I finally found out that they're more interested in explaining their businesses. They even offered me whether I wanted to be a business partner. And there goes the presentation and everything..

I just feel a bit uneasy. I abhor how it operates.. A health care product sales, who pretends to care more than even the customers about the customer's health during the showcase of their product, and yet they have money motives in mind. Not only that, they went on by just explaining about their businesses, and failing to perform the analysis as was appointed.

How fake is everything! I don't know if I could really bear entering the working world where most people wags their tails for money. Moreover, they also tried to persuade me. They said I am wasting my life if I don't want to be a partner. They said it's a chance that I might become a millionaire. But why? What is wasting life anyway? Surely to say that they must know beforehand that something is valuable, worth seeking, in which I would have wasted my life if I don't seek for it. But they provide no answer as to what is valuable. Furthermore, money is just means, not an end by itself. They therefore should continue saying what are those money going to be used for. And what is it that they're trying to achieve?

I think that many people would have been drunk because of money. They turn into fakes, became narrow minded, etc, regardless of their positions. I think.. should I have succeeded one day, have a pretty good amount of money, but realised that fakes are coming like ants for sugars, I would throw my money from hilltop, let those fakes catch them while throwing themselves down. I'd rather be alone and have little possession than have fake companions..

But one thing to note that I learn today.. I must agree that in it's good to have your own business, for if you continue to work, the higher is your position, the less time you have to spend with your family. So if you want flexible hours, it's good to run your own company. =)