Suddenly I realised that all those things I've been chasing so far.. they could have been altogether meaningless. Thus I began to reassess myself. I asked myself 'What are you trying to achieve?'

Those are very basic things actually. And yet I just didn't get it till just a couple of weeks ago. I felt that I was being self-centred. I was pursuing my own ambition, whereas I should have realised that all those are just a chasing after the wind, the Ecclesiastes expressed it well. Much of the things I did, much of the things I pursue, is just my own education. Of course, I enjoyed studying. I like to learn new things. If it is possible, I would like to even take as many modules as I can. But again, what is the point? Isn't what I do is just the same as another person who does something just for the sake of his happiness? Perhaps a person who likes to accumulate wealth just for the sake of it, being entertained by it. If i'm gonna live by those rules, would I be regretting? I tried to picture myself in the future. Perhaps I would have gained so much knowledge, but would I then be satisfied? Even now, I don't feel any satisfaction being in NUS. That's really human nature, once you've attained a thing, you'll take it for granted. You'll never get satisfied. What am I chasing then?

Now I began to realise about the importance of what they called a 'calling'. I'm in my 3rd year now, and after sometime I would be graduating.. Being in school, it seems that your purpose has been clearly defined. To score well, and you'll gone up a level in the next year. Soon after graduating, the horror begins. There's no more level. There's no more purpose. What am I going to do? Of course I have to finish my bond, but what else? How do I define my goals?

After much thought, actually there are only two paths that everyone needs to choose. First, to live for yourself. Second, live for others / contribute. If you chose to live out the former, it would be like a chasing after the wind. Your life would be empty. You would look back in regret. If you chose to live out the latter, I dunno.. even if you could live for others, would you be regretting that you've not done enough later? Everyone is just limited in what he and she could do.. Therefore the choice is so difficult in both ways.. One way, it is meaningless. The other way, you would feel that you're helpless. 

Yeah, and maybe this is just life. It really has no comfortable choices, and just a couple of weeks ago that I became conscious of it. Hmm.. so what about my ambitions? What about those dreams of taking so many modules? Or should I just go to IA instead? I've been accumulating a lot of knowledge, but those are just stuck in my head. Perhaps I should utilise them before they rot inside.

 Just realised.. how lucky we are to be part of this generation.. why? Because we have the priviledge to write things up in blog!! 

Of course, we could then, write things up for our children, our children's children, and many generations after us.. =D

So hi there, greetings for my grandsons, and my grandsons' grandson. If you're reading this, it's grandpa's writing on 8 October 2007. Grandpa's now 21 years old, currently an undergrad studying at NUS. LoL!

Hmm.. what else.. yeah perhaps there are many more things that I wanted to say. First of all..well.. have a good time reading the blog. And I would certainly write more things to say to you, my future generations. =)  

Posted this in the forum.. I wonder what would they reply :

Title : Why do I become a Christian?

Firstly, the topic may be misleading. It starts with 'why', and you're expecting that i would give my reasons to justify my belief. I won't. I would start rather from an unusual point of view.

I start from believing (in this point if you think this is just gibberish, keep reading). Yes, what's wrong with believing? I started from faith. Indeed, this is what the Bible teaches. God does not make us believe by proof, but by faith.

The problem why most people dislike the word 'faith' because it is ambiguous. It makes them difficult to differentiate which religion is the truth. Faith goes without question. Hence we started to argue, with rationality, while in fact we're just being too naive. Rene Descartes once want to doubt everything. He did it so that he could attain pure knowledge, attainable by deduction alone. He concluded that the only pure knowledge that could be attained is that 'I think therefore I exist'. However, in the very beginning, he had missed another assumption. He missed the assumption that without God, he could attain the pure knowledge all by himself. You got the point? So everything indeed starts from faith! Perhaps at that time Descartes don't even think of that assumption because maybe he didn't believe in God. He already had a 'faith', which says 'there is no God', so he don't put God into consideration.

So if you ask why do I believe that Jesus is God? I would just say because the Bible tells us so. And why do I believe in the Bible? Because it is the revelation of God. Why do I believe it is the revelation of God? Because it is written in the Bible (2 Tim 3:16). Now that's a circular argument isn't it? But wait! Look at what an intellectual atheist would say when you asked him about God : Why don't you believe in God? Because it doesn't makes sense. It is illogical. Why do you believe in logic? Because logic is dependable. Why it is dependable? Because it is logical.
You see? Everything has to have a circularity somewhere. It is because there exists a presupposition. The Bible tells me that the presupposition must be faith. But intellectuals tend to hold that the presupposition must be rationality.

But the Bible tells me that our minds have been depraved since the Fall. We prefer evil over the truth. This actually has many real implications. We see that our children are able to lie, despite no one had taught them before. The Bible also says that we are created in the image of God. Since God is formless, it must be the spiritual aspect of us that is similar to God. We see that our children had the concept of justice. They could accuse us of unfairness if we're being unfair to them. We have conscience, morality. The society shows laws.

Indeed, through my faith, I've begun to understand a lot of things! I began from faith!

But perhaps the second reason why the word is disliked is because it cant answer the question 'How do I know that a particular religion is true while other religions are not?'. Certainly, many religions starts from faith. Well..the only thing we can do perhaps is just to each religion, learn their standards, and use that standard as a judge upon its own. We can't say that 'it's impossible to judge'. The sentence is true if you're using your own judgement. You can't judge if by your own. But if there's God who reveals the truth to you, then it would be arrogant to say that it is impossible for you to know the truth! It is indeed possible!

Actually I had a lot more to say, but I just wanted to say a final point.

Indeed, when many people, Christians or not, are trying to prove that God exists intelectually, it would be an endless debate. If you see from the 'other' point of view, you would see that even though science had advanced so rapidly, made unimaginable breakthroughs in revealing the secrets of the universe, we still could not prove anything about God. This actually fits to the Bible description that God really does not start from proofs. It all started from faith.


Disclaimer : If you're getting emotional, please don't reply to this thread. But I would invite those with open minds, critical arguments, honest truth seekers, to help me assess my stand.
Anyway the Bible tells me that most people hate the truth. That's why they're getting emotional. And that means by being emotional you're just doing what is according the Bible. (eg. The Pharisees hate Jesus, though they have no explanation to His miracles..) But true truth seekers will come to Jesus and asks Him, perhaps come in humble curiosity as truth seekers. But fools can only throw mockings that arises from their lowly hatred.


thanks..